Monthly Archives: November 2013

Walk the walk after you talk the talk….

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I think it’s important dear readers to be honest with yourself and admit to your faults.
A dose of humbleness is worth its weight in gold if you ask me.
But sometimes we forget that once we admit to them, we should work at fixing them to better ourselves.
I find more often than not people admit to faults but then use them as excuses for their actions.
Yet I wonder if they realize that by not correcting their behavior it makes them more to blame for the issues it causes.

Not to mention it also makes them look selfish.
To prove my point, let me pose a “for instance”…
I shall use myself as an example as not to offend anyone I have a close relationship with.
I’ve had a hard life and for the record I feel that the five words I just typed do it no justice.
I’ve literally seen the good and evil this world has and I am very proud to say I stand here a better person for it.
However, one does not suffer such a fate without picking up a bad habit or two.
Myself included.
One small example being my avoidance of confrontation.
My brain had been trained to go into a certain mode when faced with confrontation.
Either I run away or I stand their and take it but I never voice my own opinion or concern.
Even when my side is clearly the more rational and reasonable side I will just stand their and shut up.
Why?
Because in the past when I have spoken up, my opinion was always wrong (so I was told anyway) and I would suffer great consequences.
I realize that this is a terrible personality trait and it’s something I need to fix.
Yet, I find myself still reverting back to that behavior…
Especially when it’s a debate with someone I hold dear to me.
Be it fear of them being offended by my boldness or maybe it’s the years of conditioning have lead me to think I am not allowed to have an opinion… Who knows?
So now that I realize I have an issue, I should work at changing it, right?
I should but I don’t.
Instead I have found myself actually saying “I don’t know what to say because I’m scared to say it because past president dictates I can’t….”
In plain English, it’s one big cop-out because I am scared to stand up for myself.
I know in my head that I have the god given right to difference of opinion.
I know that if done in a normal tone of voice and with reason two people can debate an issue and either agree or agree to disagree.
Yet it’s easier for me to stand with my jaw clenched and just allow others to tell me “how it is”.
…even when I know better.
This is my fault I confess to you today and in the same breath I am vowing publicly to work hard at changing it.
I know who I am inside and I should not change my views and suffer just because a handful of people could not take a difference in opinion.
Today dear readers, make this your goal.
Figure out what bad habit or trait you carry and make an honest effort to change it.
No more pointing fingers for your own faults!
Like the saying says….

If the common factor is always you, then YOUR the problem.

Not everyone else.

xo

 

http://youtu.be/krSNPhsnJEw

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At some point, it all makes sense.

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Tonight dear readers I have only but one small bit of advice to share.

I am sure that most of you already know and understand what I am about to say but after recent events in my life I feel it warrants repeating.

No matter how hard you plan and/or dream your life to be, it will always end up going a way you least expect it too.

…. and this is not always a bad thing.

Many times over the past couple years I have sat and wondered why so many bad things have happened in my life and why I have been forced to face them.

A small example is the pain and rejection in my dating life that left me wondering what the point of it all was.

So many sad nights alone wondering if I would ever be worth the effort to just one person.

Finally, after so many tears and lies I was ready to give up.

…. but then out of no place, he came into my life.

And now it’s all clear.

I had to go threw all those struggles and trials to make what I have now work.

I had to suffer and be stripped of my foolish pride to see that being the real me was all it took to find love.

….I had to go on this journey to love myself before someone else could love me unconditionally.

And I am forever grateful that I stuck it out to get to here.

I still have much more of my journey left to travel but now with someone who supports me at my side I start back off on my path with my head held high,

Just when I was about to give up, fate brought me strength and purpose to get threw.

And I will never be able to thank him enough.

Tonight, I post this with hope that anyone who is struggling or feels like nothing makes sense reads my words and knows this…

At some point, it will all make sense and be worth every second of struggle and pain.

I promise you this!

And I am a woman of my word dear readers.

I do not make promises I cannot keep.

Even if you feel like you have nothing left to carry on with KNOW that at some point it will all be worth it if you just keep hanging on.

And all the while know that I will have your back since you have been kind enough to have mine.

We got this guys!

Just hold on for a bit longer and know that some one out there understands your struggles and pain.

While you do that I plan on saying a silent prayer of thanks for all that I have been blessed with.

But most of all, I will be saying one in hopes that all of you will know unconditional love as I have finally found.

xo

 

http://youtu.be/wyzBOH24oZA

 

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